Summersnow

but i everytime try - Monday, July 27, 2009 @ 6:37 PM

fuck it all.

i'm trying very hard not to cry but the burning tears are trying to escape the locks of my eyes
but it hurts, really.
my back hurts, rubbing a spot over my kidneys. and i'm cramping my style and my body.
during cheer, each time i just turned one round, i felt like vommiting. i was bloody dizzy.
and i realized i'm partially deaf.
when lingyi and natasha were standing there talking, munching, yapping, my world was wrapped within silence
i couldn't hear a thing except for denise's nonsensical rumblings. and that's beacause she's only 1meter away from me.
i went home with knee cancer. my knees were hurting so damn much.
luckily, my heart isn't giving me problems.
cause i'm too fucked up already.
refuse to see the docs, because it cost more than the bombs that dropped on hiroshima and nagasaki.
one dental appointment laid my mom hundred and twenty bucks. for forty minutes.
it was daylight robbery, for goodness sake.
i cannot imagine seeing the cardiologist. or the whatever o-logist.
i've given up my dermatologist for my skin allergy alrd. i think my mom can't afford.

why can't my screwed up body just add in aneroxia or bullima.
i have screwed up thyroids that cause me my loss in balance and motion sickness plus tons of headaches when i take a car without making any noise.
just add some more dieases, pile them up baby.
diabetes, hypertension, gangrene, brain damage, liver cancer, kidney failure.
and friday will be my last day.
i'll celebrate my birthday&express yourself day
and let my soul leave my body.

i've tried.

it's not as if i don't want to be like the world's best student and study 24/7.
i want to, i know i have the motivation. if not why would i be able to lose 6kg in 6months when i was in p6, putting myself on strict diet and highly intensive basketball playing.
and now, i'm putting it to use.
i've just placed my foot down. i bought a bloody file to file in my notes. i got a new full scap pad from the lost and found corner.
i'm ready to study,
but all the teachers just think that i'm so slack.
jai must think that i'm the 2dimensional barbie doll with nothing more than face value.
i'm trying to prove her wrong.
but fuck it,
she just wants to douse us. like my poor darling peyling who's her victim.
and chee isn't any better.
i want to do maths.
i know i can.
i used to top math.
krystal can do math.
but i just don't wanna freaking try. but when i want to, he goes around nagging and shooting glances across my table.

material comfort

i want to show the world that i can damn well dance.
i want to show the world that i can damn well get an L1R5 of 8.
i want to show the world that i can damn well pass my chinese.
i want to show the world that i can damn well use my brain. and i'm not an airhead.
i want to show the world that i can damn well cheer.
i want to show the world that i can damn well play the guitar.
i want to show the world that i can damn well get a guy for myself without flirting.
i want to show the world that i can damn well get out of cedar.
i want to show the world that i can damn well live.
live, love, laugh and get laid.
isn't that what life is supposed to be about.
apparently, nowadays, life goes like this -
study, rant, cry, sleep, die

fear

i'm scared.
i think i'm suffering from some phobias.
Gephyrophobia(fear of bridges)i've always had an aversion to bridgess since young.don't ask why.i'm afriad the bridge will break into half and i'll fall onto a car.and die.
Nyctophobia(fear of darkness)ever since one nightmare i've had about a bus in the dark, i've been hallucinating everything i'm plunged into darkness.alone.i heard sounds like bells ringing when i stayed up late to 3 to do shaomin's birthday present.i nearly cried.
Tokophobia(fear of childbirth)yes.weird right?for a person like me.this is the reason why i don't want to get married.i'm afraid of childbirth and the entire process of pregnancy itself.
isn't this weird?
for a person who seem so fearless as superman.
who's not scared of teachers, of insects or archanids, of exams.
and here's the weirdest phobia - Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia.
i swear i didn't make it up.it's the fear of the number 666.

bouquets

thank you peyling.
thank you krystal.
thank you denise.
thank you shaomin.

everytime

everytime i'm stressed, i get panic attacks and abnormal speeding up of heartbeat
everytime i run, my windpipe closes up and i can't breathe
everytime i come into contact with ink/paint, my enczyma flares up
everytime i'm cold, my kidney hurts and i get cramps
everytime i'm hot, i hyperventilate and get headaches
everytime i spin/turn, i will lose my balance, get headaches and nearly vomit
check out my perfectly working body.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU-
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU-
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SHAOMIN-
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU-
happy sweet sixteen, i'm so sorry i dedicated sucha sucky post to you.
i swear i'll do a better one when blogger is not that screwed.

I DON'T LIKE ALOYSIUS WONG.
I DON'T LIKE CRAIGTON LIAN.
I DON'T LIKE MARCUS I DONT KNOW WHAT.
are you happy? do i have to admit that i'm not a hooker to hook up the guy that likes my senior?!
and msn-ing a guy doesn't mean that i'm interested in him, there's something called being friends with a guy without being kissing him
THANKYOU.
much as i'm a bitch,
fuck off.

love, algae
and everything i try,
to find i've fallen without my wings
i feel so small,
i guess i need you baby

back to the top?

ALGAE Entries Affliates Others
Goodmorning This is the Algae Residences How may I help you,	Autobiography My best friend is the guitar. &I never need boyfriends. I fall in love easily. With random things like country music, vampires,romance novels&colorful pens. To me, Taylor Swift&The Saturdays are awesome. I love little black dresses&scarves. In my spare time, I like to design cards&conduct random science experiments like dipping eggs into acid. Yeah&unlike normal humans, I like science, converging lenses&relative atomic masses included. Secretly, I want to be a doctor& a guitarist on the spy when I grow up. I love nonsense people who make me laugh. &yes, I love inviting people to my house&being invited to other's houses. I hate raindrops, airplanes, Jacob Black&jerks. No, I'd never though that I was smart/gorgeous/talented. I'm just a green colored pond scum. A bitchy one to be precise. P.S My bitchiness is inherited, so beware of my mom. P.S And currently, I'm desperate for a new phone&a pair of flipflops. Indigo'09 1Hcube'08 2HighOnHiccups'09 Modern dancer bolditalicunderline~~strikeout~~	but i everytime try - Monday, July 27, 2009 @ 6:37 PM fuck it all. i'm trying very hard not to cry but the burning tears are trying to escape the locks of my eyes but it hurts, really. my back hurts, rubbing a spot over my kidneys. and i'm cramping my style and my body. during cheer, each time i just turned one round, i felt like vommiting. i was bloody dizzy. and i realized i'm partially deaf. when lingyi and natasha were standing there talking, munching, yapping, my world was wrapped within silence i couldn't hear a thing except for denise's nonsensical rumblings. and that's beacause she's only 1meter away from me. i went home with knee cancer. my knees were hurting so damn much. luckily, my heart isn't giving me problems. cause i'm too fucked up already. refuse to see the docs, because it cost more than the bombs that dropped on hiroshima and nagasaki. one dental appointment laid my mom hundred and twenty bucks. for forty minutes. it was daylight robbery, for goodness sake. i cannot imagine seeing the cardiologist. or the whatever o-logist. i've given up my dermatologist for my skin allergy alrd. i think my mom can't afford. why can't my screwed up body just add in aneroxia or bullima. i have screwed up thyroids that cause me my loss in balance and motion sickness plus tons of headaches when i take a car without making any noise. just add some more dieases, pile them up baby. diabetes, hypertension, gangrene, brain damage, liver cancer, kidney failure. and friday will be my last day. i'll celebrate my birthday&express yourself day and let my soul leave my body. i've tried. it's not as if i don't want to be like the world's best student and study 24/7. i want to, i know i have the motivation. if not why would i be able to lose 6kg in 6months when i was in p6, putting myself on strict diet and highly intensive basketball playing. and now, i'm putting it to use. i've just placed my foot down. i bought a bloody file to file in my notes. i got a new full scap pad from the lost and found corner. i'm ready to study, but all the teachers just think that i'm so slack. jai must think that i'm the 2dimensional barbie doll with nothing more than face value. i'm trying to prove her wrong. but fuck it, she just wants to douse us. like my poor darling peyling who's her victim. and chee isn't any better. i want to do maths. i know i can. i used to top math. krystal can do math. but i just don't wanna freaking try. but when i want to, he goes around nagging and shooting glances across my table. material comfort i want to show the world that i can damn well dance. i want to show the world that i can damn well get an L1R5 of 8. i want to show the world that i can damn well pass my chinese. i want to show the world that i can damn well use my brain. and i'm not an airhead. i want to show the world that i can damn well cheer. i want to show the world that i can damn well play the guitar. i want to show the world that i can damn well get a guy for myself without flirting. i want to show the world that i can damn well get out of cedar. i want to show the world that i can damn well live. live, love, laugh and get laid. isn't that what life is supposed to be about. apparently, nowadays, life goes like this - study, rant, cry, sleep, die fear i'm scared. i think i'm suffering from some phobias. Gephyrophobia(fear of bridges)i've always had an aversion to bridgess since young.don't ask why.i'm afriad the bridge will break into half and i'll fall onto a car.and die. Nyctophobia(fear of darkness)ever since one nightmare i've had about a bus in the dark, i've been hallucinating everything i'm plunged into darkness.alone.i heard sounds like bells ringing when i stayed up late to 3 to do shaomin's birthday present.i nearly cried. Tokophobia(fear of childbirth)yes.weird right?for a person like me.this is the reason why i don't want to get married.i'm afraid of childbirth and the entire process of pregnancy itself. isn't this weird? for a person who seem so fearless as superman. who's not scared of teachers, of insects or archanids, of exams. and here's the weirdest phobia - Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia. i swear i didn't make it up.it's the fear of the number 666. bouquets thank you peyling. thank you krystal. thank you denise. thank you shaomin. everytime everytime i'm stressed, i get panic attacks and abnormal speeding up of heartbeat everytime i run, my windpipe closes up and i can't breathe everytime i come into contact with ink/paint, my enczyma flares up everytime i'm cold, my kidney hurts and i get cramps everytime i'm hot, i hyperventilate and get headaches everytime i spin/turn, i will lose my balance, get headaches and nearly vomit check out my perfectly working body. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU- HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU- HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SHAOMIN- HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU- happy sweet sixteen, i'm so sorry i dedicated sucha sucky post to you. i swear i'll do a better one when blogger is not that screwed. I DON'T LIKE ALOYSIUS WONG. I DON'T LIKE CRAIGTON LIAN. I DON'T LIKE MARCUS I DONT KNOW WHAT. are you happy? do i have to admit that i'm not a hooker to hook up the guy that likes my senior?! and msn-ing a guy doesn't mean that i'm interested in him, there's something called being friends with a guy without being kissing him THANKYOU. much as i'm a bitch, fuck off. love, algae and everything i try, to find i've fallen without my wings i feel so small, i guess i need you baby back to the top?	affiliates ♥Aksone♥ ♥Aliah♥ ♥Aishu♥ ♥Atikah♥ ♥Amadea♥ ♥Amanda♥ ♥Anita♥ ♥Beverly♥ ♥Boonboonhuihui♥ ♥Carin♥ ♥Celastine♥ ♥Celine♥ ♥Celine♥ ♥Chewan♥ ♥Christina♥ ♥Clara♥ ♥Conny♥ ♥Crystal♥ ♥Daphne♥ ♥Dayna♥ ♥Denise♥ ♥Eugenia♥ ♥Evangelyn♥ ♥Flower♥ ♥Geraldine♥ ♥Haining♥ ♥Huijie♥ ♥Huiying♥ ♥Jelaine♥ ♥Irene♥ ♥Iznayye♥ ♥Jarule♥ ♥Jeremy♥ ♥Jiaying♥ ♥Jolene♥ ♥Kimberly♥ ♥Kor Woong♥ ♥Krystal♥ ♥Laura♥ ♥Lingyi♥ ♥Lynnette♥ ♥Maika♥ ♥Mardiana♥ ♥Minying♥ ♥Nadene♥ ♥Nadiah♥ ♥Natasha♥ ♥Nicole♥ ♥Miss Claire♥ ♥Pamphila♥ ♥Plingy♥ ♥Sarah♥ ♥Vanessa♥ ♥Xinya♥ ♥Yingyi♥	credits Layout: Nic ole Inspiration: Taylor Swift Color Codes: Html Color Codes monthly archive » July 2008 » August 2008 » September 2008 » October 2008 » November 2008 » December 2008 » January 2009 » February 2009 » March 2009 » April 2009 » May 2009 » June 2009 » July 2009 » August 2009 » September 2009 » October 2009 » November 2009 » December 2009 » January 2010 » February 2010 » March 2010 » April 2010 » May 2010 » June 2010 » July 2010 » August 2010 » September 2010 » October 2010 » November 2010 » December 2010 » January 2011 daily archive » hello » too hot for me » damn. » screw the damned school.and screw friggin blogger.... » if today was your last day - » when you believe - » damn the dentist. » nothing to say » a friggin present. » stalker village